Always
by TheHungerGamesIreland
Summary: 'This was at least the tenth time that he had practice-proposed in the last two weeks, and after about the third time, I started to long for him to be doing it for real. But it was not real. Just pretend. Because he had a better option somewhere else; an option that I had made available to him. And I hated myself for it.' Modern Day AU.
1. Chapter 1

_Part 1_

* * *

I liked him first. I mean, I suppose I could have said something about it. But she should have _known,_ you know? In that annoying, best friend mind-reading way.

Scratch that, I _loved_ him first. And now it's all turned to shit because of Delly fucking Cartwright. Because she couldn't keep her slutty body to herself.

Delly was a good friend, don't get me wrong. Always there for me when I was stressed or in one of my vicious moods. My sometimes harsh words never shook her, didn't even make her flinch.

But she always got the boys that she wanted._ Always_. Once she set her sights on him, she had him. Whether it took just a flirtatious wink or weeks of subtle pursuing, she got the guy in the end. So when she set her eyes on none other than Peeta Mellark, I knew that I'd lost him for good.

I should have known better than to introduce them to each other in the first place. It made sense at the time; he was one of my best friends and so was Delly. But looking deeper, they were alike in ways that Peeta and I weren't. They liked the same annoying, generic pop music, drank the same drinks, and loved the same movies and books. They were both blonde-haired and blue-eyed. _A very cute couple _as my mother had referred to them.

Prim saw right through the fake smile that I had plastered on my face when they announced that they were a couple, though. She saw the way I looked at him and acted around him. I was only ever as happy as I was with Prim when I was with Peeta. They were the only two people in the world that could get a genuine smile or laugh out of me.

Peeta and I had met when we were four years old. He approached me, holding a small, yellow dandelion, and presented it to me.

_"You're prettier than all of the flowers." I wrinkled my nose, because in four years of life no one had ever told me I was pretty. Not my mother, or any of my many aunties and uncles._

_"This is a weed," I responded, giving it back to him._

_"What's your name?"_

_"Katniss."_

_Silence._

_"Can we be friends?"_

_"No."_

_"Why not?" Peeta asked, sticking out his bottom lip childishly. Even back then I thought it was cute._

_"I don't have any friends. I wouldn't be any good at it."_

_"Oh I don't mind. I'll show you how. I have lots of friends."_

_I had considered it, but Peeta must have taken my silence as a yes. He sat down quickly beside me and grabbed my hand. _

_And neither of us have looked back since._

* * *

"I love you, Delly Catwright. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Peeta was on his knee in front of me, his hand held out dramatically. It was empty now, but in about three hours it would be holding a tacky, sparkling engagement ring.

I knew it was the kind of thing Peeta hated. Too flashy.

_Whatever it takes to make Delly happy, of course, _I thought bitterly.

"It's.. Great, Peeta. She's going to love it so much. Don't mess it up." I winked at him and he only snorted.

"Seriously, Kat, I've been planning this for months. I have that god-damned speech engraved in my _brain._ I won't mess it up, trust me."

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness and pointed towards the bathroom. "Now go shower 'cause you smell disgusting, Mellark. No one's gonna marry you if you stink like that."

He only grinned at me in response and retreated to the small, white bathroom, locking the door behind him. He had gone for what must have been at least a six mile run, something he only did when he was incredibly angry or nervous. This was at least the tenth time that he had practice-proposed in the last two weeks, and after about the third time, I started to long for him to be doing it for _real._ But it was not real. Just pretendBecause he had a better option somewhere else; an option that I had made available to him. And I hated myself for it.

* * *

"Katniss fucking Everdeen I am _engaged!_" Peeta bellowed, slamming the door behind him and dropping his keys noisily in the small dish in the hallway.

"Good. I wouldn't have let you in here if you had fucked it up!" Peeta pouted petulantly at me and reached into the large fridge in their kitchen, grabbing two beers.

"Are you drunk, Peeta?" I asked, laughing at how long it took for him to actually find the beer, despite it being in the same place as it always was.

He scoffed. "No." But when he tossed the beer to me, only for it to go about a meter off course and fall to the floor, he shrugged. "Maybe a little."

I rolled my eyes and picked it up, setting it on the counter and getting a fresh one from the fridge. "So, tell me. Did she gush? Squeal? Cry? Oh _that's_ it, Delly's definitely a crier."_  
_

He sat down next to me and swallowed a large gulp before replying. "Got it in one, Everdeen. She did all three." Peeta's smile was cocky, and he was clearly pleased with himself.

"Of course she did. Finish your drink and then we're getting you into bed. You still have work tomorrow, no matter how engaged you are." I joked, winking at him. He just laughed at muttered a _whatever_ to me, swigging his beer.

About an hour later, Peeta was well past tipsy. And he can get incredibly cuddly when he's drunk, which was the last thing I needed. I may have been in love with him, but Delly was still my best friend; I would never betray her like that.

"Ok, time for bed. It's late, and I am _not_ looking after you tomorrow when you're hungover." I snapped playfully, grabbing his forearm and pushing him up. When he was on his feet, he stared down at me. Peeta had always been much taller than me, but not in an awkward, lanky way.

"Wait, Katniss." Peeta's gaze made me feel two feet tall.

I raised an eyebrow at him in response and tried to quell the butterflies raging in the pit of my stomach. I had stood up without thinking about how I would end up, and of course it put me mere inches from him. I inhaled deeply, taking in his inviting scent of cinnamon, and I could feel the heat rolling off his body in waves.

"You're pretty."

I took a second to try to come to my senses. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck and have my way with him until the sun comes up, but I couldn't.

"You're drunk."

_He doesn't love you._

_He's engaged to your other best friend._

_He's just drunk. _

The voices in my head were screaming at me to just go to bed already, and I knew that it would have been the wise decision. But there was this one tiny voice that was whispering softly to me.

_Kiss him._

_You love him. More than Delly ever could._

I felt like I was being torn in two. Without realising it, and without my brain's consent, I had begun to lean slowly towards him, my eyes fixated on his beautiful, full lips.

Peeta seemed to realise what was happening, and he, too, looked conflicted. Something that I couldn't quite put my finger on flashed in his eyes for a split second, and then they fluttered closed. His lips were so _close, _but his face suddenly paled.

His hand flew to cover his mouth, and he ran in the direction of the bathroom. Peeta was far from a lightweight, so he must have had a lot more than I thought at dinner. He had only had two beers with me, and beer never made him sick. I could hear him emptying his stomach, so I grabbed a towel from the kitchen drawer and a glass of water and went in to rub awkward circles on his back and whisper soothing words to him. If there was one thing Peeta hated, it was being sick.

He finally stopped about ten minutes later, so I wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to his bedroom. I sat on his bed and stared at the photos on his wall while I was waiting for him to change. Most of them were of us, and as they went from the left to the right they gradually got newer.

I noticed that as they moved from left to right, the amount of photos of me, smiling and laughing - or scowling - into the camera, decreased. And there were more of Delly. But, all of the photos of Delly were when she was perfectly clean and made up. Almost all of the photos of me were taken outdoors; after swimming in the lake my father used to take me to; after hiking through the woods; lying soaked to the skin after a rain storm.

The last photo of me on the wall - and the newest - was taken about a month ago before a fundraiser for Peeta's art course that he held for children. I was smiling shyly at the photo and my cheeks were slightly flushed, because Peeta's hand had snaked around my waist and had been grasping my side tightly. He had looked particularly sexy in his perfectly tailored black tuxedo, and I had had a hard time controlling my gaze as it swept over him; trying not to linger anywhere.

I hadn't been anything special that night in my simple red dress. Many people had asked that night how long we had been together, but all Peeta offered in response was a slight shake of his head and a timid smile in my direction.

I, too, had a copy of the photo in my bedroom, but mine was in a frame.

I felt tears begin to burn behind my eyes as I realised that Delly was slowly replacing me. I hadn't thought much of it until now, but the photos had been a visual representation of what had been inevitable. I left the room and sprinted to my bedroom without saying goodnight to Peeta. I flopped face-first down on my bed and, for the first time since I first saw Peeta and Delly kiss three years ago, I let my tears soak my pillow until the early hours of the morning.

* * *

When I finally did find sleep, it was restless, and disturbed with graphic nightmares of losing Peeta. I lost count of how many different visions of him dying I saw, but I woke up screaming after a particularly bad one.

Peeta was by my side within a minute, holding me and brushing away the fat tears that were tracking down my cheeks. I saw him, thought of Delly, and took the opportunity to cry to him. I pretended that he was comforting me about the whole situation. Sobbing into his thin t-shirt, I held him as close as physically possible as he whispered soothing words in my ear.

After about an hour I managed to calm myself down enough to be able to speak to Peeta. He asked what the nightmare was about, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that it was about losing him; his blood soaking my hands and clothes while Delly laughed mercilessly in the background.

Even though it was seven in the morning, I felt my eyelids begin to get heavier by the minute. Peeta also noticed, and layed me down in my bed. He gave me a chaste kiss on the forehead, but I grabbed his hand when he began to move away.

"Stay."

I could see him debating whether or not he should, considering he's now engaged, but his eyes softened after a moment. He climbed into my bed and I curled up beside him, resting my head on his strong chest. I was almost completely asleep when I heard him murmur something in my ear.

"Always."

* * *

"Katniss!" I winced as I heard Delly's shrill voice calling my name. I had decided to stop wallowing in my misery and went to the store to get some much needed groceries. I hadn't seen Delly in weeks, before her and Peeta's engagement. It just brought up painful thoughts.

Clearly it had been a bad idea.

"Oh, uh, hey Delly!" I replied half-heartedly, trying to conjure up a smile. I had only gotten about two hours sleep the night before, and although they were spent curled up next to Peeta, they were not nearly enough to transport me out of the vile mood.

"I really need to talk to you, it's important. Can we go somewhere quieter than this?" Delly looked so enthusiastic that I couldn't help but say yes. We paid for our stuff and walked across the street, into a small cafe.

The time we spent talking reminded me just how _damn_ likable Delly is. It is physically impossible to hate this woman; even when she's marrying the man you're in love with. She kept conversation flowing the entire time and it felt natural as opposed to awkward and forced. Her stories and jokes never failed to make me smile. This was the reason we were best friends in the first place.

We were polar opposites; Delly loved everything and everyone - she was a social butterfly. Always smiling, laughing and making friends with whoever was up for talking. Whereas I was completely introverted. Being on my own made me happy, and helped me concentrate on whatever I may be doing.

"So, Kat, I was wondering.. Would you like to be my maid of honour? This wedding wouldn't even be happening if it weren't for you, and I owe you so much. You deserve this. You also deserve to find someone as amazing as Peeta to make you as happy as I am."

This hit me like a tonne of fucking _bricks._

"Which is why I want to introduce you to my cousin Gale. You guys would seriously get on like a house on fire."

The last thing I wanted to do was hook up with someone else while I was pining after Peeta.

But maybe, just maybe, it might make him _jealous. _Peeta could be pretty territorial when he wanted to be.

"Gale sounds nice."

But then there was the whole maid of honour thing. What the _fuck _was I supposed to say? _Oh, I'm in love with your fiance but of course I'll run around after you on your wedding day like a little slave and watch you two be perfectly sweet and in love. Sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than just being bitter in the background and getting drunk._

"What about being my maid of honour? Please?" Delly was looking at me like I was the best person in the world at that moment, and it made me feel like shit.

"Oh, uh, I don't know Dells.." I said quietly, about to suggest one of her other close friends.

"Please Katniss! It would mean so much to me!" It broke my heart how hopeful she looked, so I just blurted out the first words that flew into my head.

"Sure."

* * *

I got home that day to an incredibly welcome sight;

Peeta shirtless. Baking my favourite cheese buns.

"Hey." I tried to sound casual, but the word came out as more of an exhale. If he noticed, Peeta didn't draw any attention to it.

He turned around and his eyebrows furrowed together. _Shit. _He had clearly noticed the deep, grey bags underneath my eyes. That day had been one of the most stressful days of my life. Between Delly and the whole maid of honour fiasco and unexpected clients showing up looking for extra supplies of herbal remedies to last them through my two well-earned days off, I had gotten completely exhausted and run down. It wasn't like I could afford to turn them away, though. I needed to save for Peeta's wedding present and enough air-fare to go and visit Prim over the Summer, and I had begrudgingly accepted the extra business.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned. I waved him off and quickly changed the subject.

"I have news." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but my voice came out slightly cold.

His face lit up slightly, but I could still see concern in his stunningly blue eyes. "Oh? What's that?"

"Well, Peeta Mellark, I am now officially your soon-to-be wife's maid of honour!" I had managed to get my voice under control for this, saying it in a sickeningly sweet voice.

Peeta seemed to consider this. He looked a little but dumbstruck, and not necessarily in a good, shocked with excitement way. More of an 'I'm not really happy with this but I better pretend I am' way. If that look exists.

He reached up to scratch the back of his neck. "Oh, that's- that's great, Kat." He gave me a half-hearted smile and expected me to buy it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, my mind racing with a thousand possibilities. He could know about my feelings. He might not want me to be involved in the wedding. The list went on and on.

"Oh.. Nothing, I just.." He trailed off, leaving me petrified.

"Spit it out, Mellark." I winked at him and tried to go for light-hearted, but it felt forced and unconvincing. He flinched slightly at my tone, knowing I was trying to be enthusiastic, when clearly there was something bothering me too.

He shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts, and waved me off. "Nothing. Just tired, I guess."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't attempt to push the subject any further. I was still worried, but that was the thing about Peeta; if he didn't want to talk about something, the only way to make him talk was to give him time and gentle persuasion. For someone who was so in touch with his emotions, he could be pretty closed off when he wanted to be.

I suddenly realised how close he was standing to me, and how much I wanted to kiss him. Heat was practically radiating off of his still bare chest, but a shiver ran down my spine in response to his closeness. Our almost-kiss from the other night came into my mind, making a spark ignite in my lower abdomen, spreading what felt like liquid fire throughout my veins.

Suddenly, something snapped in my head and made me jerk away from his intense stare. Without even looking at him, I could sense Peeta tensing and taking a deep breath. I could have sworn I heard him mutter a string on curses under his breath, but I couldn't be sure. Peeta never swore.

"So I'm going to bed." I completely disregarded the fact that it was only seven-thirty in the evening and still partially bright outside.

"Yeah.. Yeah, so am I. G'night." He swept past me and headed towards his bedroom, seemingly muttering to himself.

And that's when I broke down in tears. Ever since we were teenagers, when we had to leave each other, whether it was to go home or go to bed, we always hugged goodbye. _Always._ But tonight, he had just completely forgotten about it.

Completely forgotten about me.

* * *

_A/N. _

_So yeah, hungover again, blah blah blah.. This isn't going to be long, probably three chapters at the most that will be about the same length/possibly longer than this. I don't have the time or patience to write 5,000 words at a time, and I can be a bit of a procrastinator. _

_So reviews make me smile. mwah x_


	2. Chapter 2

_Part 2_

* * *

Things went back to normal after both almost-kisses. Well, as close to normal as two best friends with palpable sexual tension could manage. Maybe the sexual tension was a little one-sided, but Peeta had looked so intense when we were close that it gave me the tiniest glimmer of hope. He baked, ran, co-existed happily with Delly, and ran some more. I paid particular attention to the latter. Peeta rarely got stressed, but when he did, he ran. A lot.

Which was exactly what he had been doing three weeks before the wedding. Peeta didn't run to keep fit; he went to the gym for that. He ran to relieve stress, and that's all.

Which made me think.. Was he stressed out because I was going to be in the wedding? Because we had almost kissed _twice? _Or were he and Delly having problems?

The thought that he and Delly possibly weren't the perfect couple that I had perceived them to be gave me conflicting emotions. On one hand, I felt bad for Delly; she was a genuinely good person, through and through. She didn't need a best friend that kept almost kissing her fiance. She didn't deserve it at all.

On the other hand, though, it gave me the tiniest amount of satisfaction to know that Peeta could have been going through emotional turmoil trying to think this all through. In turn, that made me incredibly guilty. What the fuck was I thinking? I was actually _pleased_ at the thought of my best friend in the world being in emotional hell when I should have been helping him and his soon-to-be wife make plans for their wedding.

Which was what I was currently doing. I was standing in the middle of an incredibly over-priced, pretentious bridal store sipping champagne while waiting for Delly to try on dress number six.

She and Peeta had decided on an early wedding, as they didn't want to be one of those couples who stayed engaged forever. _'Those relationships always lose the spark. One of them meets someone else and thinks 'Oh hey I'm not married yet. I have an easy out.' So they hardly ever work out.'_

Yep, irony's a bitch.

I turned around in time to see the curtain be pulled aside and Delly stepping out. To say she looked beautiful would be a complete understatement. Her dress suited her down to the ground; it was completely white, with sheer lace sleeves and a slim, fitted bodice which flared out slightly at her waist into an equally lace covered skirt.

"Wow, Delly, you look incredible." I stuttered out, my heart dropping. Why would Peeta want me when he had a bride that looked that stunning?

"This is it Katniss. This is the dress." That was all she said before turning around and reentering the dressing room. I sunk down onto a nearby chair and put my head in my hands. Shit.

One of the women who worked in the store approached me and offered me more champagne, which I accepted gratefully. I got up and made my way towards the bridesmaids dresses, taking in the array of colours.

I walked slowly around each mannequin, pausing at some of the dresses that caught my eye but quickly deciding against them. Because I was going to be the only bridesmaid, Delly had given me the chance to pick out my own dress.

I was about to give up and suggest to Delly we go somewhere else when I saw a mannequin tucked in the corner with a beautiful dress draped on it delicately. The dress was forest green, made with soft, sheer material that fell right to the floor.

"Delly?"

"Huh?" Delly had just emerged from the dressing room again, still wearing the dress.

"What do you think of this dress? For the wedding? If you don't like it it's completely okay but I just love the colour and-"

"Katniss, it's _perfect! _Go try it on! Now!" Delly gasped, cutting me off. I shrugged and found another of the dress hanging on a rail behind the mannequins, picked it up, and headed for the dressing rooms. I entered and slipped off my jeans and blouse, which I had pulled out of my closet frantically when Delly had told me where we were going.

I slid the dress off the hanger and undid the zip, stepping into the smooth fabric. Pulling it up, I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked painfully skinny; my ribs had just started to peek out from my skin, and my collarbone jutted out unhealthily. _Shit._ Usually the stress of planning a wedding made the bride lose weight, but in this case the stress of watching the person I was in love with marry one of my best friends had seriously taken it's toll on my body.

Shaking my head, I pulled the dress the rest of the way up and zipped up the side. Looking in the mirror, I admired the dress. It gave me a few curves where I was lacking, and the colour of the dress brightened my eyes somewhat. I didn't look beautiful; I would never be beautiful. But I looked better than normal, and that was the best I could do.

I peeked my head around the heavy curtain to look for Delly, not feeling comfortable with walking around in a fancy dress in front of complete strangers.

Delly was standing near a corner of the store, talking to someone I'd never seen before. And she was blatantly flirting with him. Every few seconds she would let out a giggle, touch his arm, or wrap one of her loose blonde curls around her finger. Her eyes settled on me after another few seconds, and she tensed slightly. Her arm dropped from it's place on the man's arm, and she took a deep breath and headed my way.

"Katniss, that looks beautiful! That's definitely the dress for you," Delly gushed, obviously trying to distract me from what I had just witnessed. With no such luck.

"Who's that?" I inquired, disregarding her compliments.

"Who?" She replied, batting her eyelashes and feigning innocence.

"That guy you were talking to?"

"Oh, him?" She said, as if the room was full of men, "Just an old friend. His sister's getting married soon and she's looking at bridesmaids dresses somewhere else in the store. I was just catching up with him. Now, what about this dress? Are you happy?" She rushed, changing the subject.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I think so." I blinked, watching Delly inspect the dress. She felt the material, made sure the length was right and checked for any areas that needed alteration.

"Good. No go get changed, I'm hungry." I raised my eyebrows at the usually soft-spoken girl's bluntness.

"Oh, ok. Yeah, I'm hungry too, I guess."

* * *

When I got home that evening Peeta was waiting for me, and I could instantly tell something was wrong with him. Not that he looked like he had a bad cold or food poisoning or a migraine, but he looked like absolute _hell._

His hair was mussed up and it was clear that he had been pushing his hands through it repeatedly, another nervous tick of his, he had slight dark circles under each eye, he was in sweats even though he had been at the bakery that day and his normally clear blue eyes were dull and lifeless.

"Hey, what's up with you?" I asked, trying to keep the concern out of my voice.

"Katniss." he simply stated, his voice cracking at the end.

"Peeta, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"You know when you think everything is perfect? Like, in your head it's just like, 'this couldn't get any better.' But then it's all gone suddenly. Life's a bitch like that, huh?" He wasn't making sense, which was extremely rare for Peeta.

"What happened? Just say it, please."

His voice was barely a whisper. "She cheated."

All of a sudden it was like the breath had been ripped from my lungs and the ground had fallen through beneath me.

"What? Peeta, how do you know? Oh my God."

"I saw them." It was obvious that he was crying at this point, even when he was facing away from me. All of a sudden he swung his clenched fist towards the nearest cabinet, punching a jagged hold through the door. As soon as he pulled his bloodied hand away, his shoulders heaved and gut wrenching sobs began to fall from his mouth. He collapsed in a heap on the floor, leaning his back against the cabinets, and drawing his knees to his chest.

"It hurts so bad, Kat." At first I thought he was referring to his hand, but then I realised what he was talking about; Delly.

My heart ached for him, and in that moment I would have given absolutely anything to take the pain for him. I sat down on the floor beside him and put an arm around his broad shoulders, pulling him into me. He rested his head on my chest and I wrapped my other arm around him, and he began once again to sob uncontrollably into my shirt.

After what seemed like hours of feeling him tremble in my arms, I finally spoke.

"How about you go to bed now? Some sleep will do you good."

"Alright, I guess." So I helped him up and led him to his bedroom, stripping him of his shirt and pants and tucking him into his bed like a child. Strangely, nothing about the act felt in any way sexual, but more comforting.

I was about to leave when I heard a small voice coming from his direction. I turned around and realised that he had been trying to speak to me.

"Will you stay with me?"

His voice made my heart melt. He sounded like a broken shell of the man that had been with me for most of my life. Gone was the vibrant, perpetually happy Peeta, replaced by an emotional wreck. All because of Delly Cartwright.

"Always."

* * *

It took Peeta weeks to recover. And by recover, I mean for him to stop staring into space long enough to get out of bed for a whole day. It was an improvement, but with the date the wedding was meant to be held on fast approaching, I knew that this progress wouldn't last forever.

"What date is it?" He asked me one day, exactly 17 days before the wedding would have been.

"I'm not sure, the 13th I think." I replied carefully.

"Oh."

That was one of the longest conversations that I had had with him since he saw Delly with another man. Suddenly, a thought struck me. How it had never come into my head before then, I don't know.

"Peeta? Can I ask you a question?"

He simply raised his eyebrows at me in response, and I took it as a yes.

"Well.. When you, uh, saw, you know, _her,_ with another guy.. Did you happen to see what he looked like? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I said it all in one breath, and when he replied I was surprised that he had even heard all of it.

"He had dark hair. Brown eyes. Taller than me. That's all I know. God, Katniss, all I can see is her on top of them.. They were kissing.. Why? Why me? I was always good to her. We never fought. We always talked. And you know what really fucking hurts? The fact that she didn't even look upset when I walked in on them. Not even a little guilty. She only looked upset because she was caught, you know?" I could see tears welling in his eyes, and it broke my heart.

"Oh God, Peeta. I saw her with him. When we went to get her wedding dress I tried on one and when I came out she was talking to this guy and oh my God she told me she didn't know him, Peeta I'm so-"

"Katniss. Stop. This isn't your fault."

I didn't know how to respond, so I just stopped talking.

"Can I ask you a question now?" Peeta asked after a long moment of silence.

"Sure. Go ahead."

"Why do you think she did it? Please, just answer me honestly. Am I too clingy? Do I not talk about problems with her? What is it? I've been going through it in my head for weeks and I can't find anything that was wrong with the relationship."

"Oh, Peeta, you didn't do anything wrong. You are the most wonderful person that I have ever met, and, believe me, I've been trying to figure out why she would do this to you. The only thing that I can come up with is that she wasn't good enough for you."

Peeta scoffed. "She was plenty good enough. I wasn't good enough for her."

I shook my head. "No, she definitely wasn't good enough for you, and you have to realise that. She was, and excuse my language, a two-timing whore. You, though, are kind, gentle, understanding, and my best friend. She wasn't good enough for you, but someone out there is. You just have to find her."

He reached across the couch and pulled me into a hug. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply. He smelled like safety - home.

"I love you Peeta. You know that, right?" I mumbled into his neck. He squeezed me tighter, and I felt his breath catch slightly in his throat.

"Yeah, I know. You too." He suddenly pushed on my shoulder lightly, until my face was so close to his that my nose skimmed his nose lightly.

I stared into his watery blue eyes, filled with tears. His eyes flitted down to my mouth for a split second before his lips claimed mine. In over twenty years of knowing him, this is the first time that we had ever kissed. It felt like my whole body had ignited into flames, and as my hands roamed over his neck, back and torso, I lost track of where he ended and I began.

He suddenly pulled his lips from mine and tipped my head back, exposing my neck. He started to trail wet kissed towards my collarbone, stopping to nibble and suck on the spots that made me gasp and clench my thighs together.

Peeta groaned against my neck, but I was suddenly distracted. I could hear the buzzer sounding from the hallway, indicating that someone was at the door.

"Peeta, stop. There's someone at the door." I mumbled, trying to pry myself from his grasp.

"Leave it, I don't care."

I rolled my eyes and finally extracted myself from his grip, smoothed my hair and made my way towards the door.

I opened it do reveal a rather calm looking Delly. She didn't look guilty, or even the tiniest bit upset. I could tell that she was trying to look concerned, like she cared, but her eyes were cold and distant.

"Is Peeta here?" She asked, batting her eyelashes like she was completely innocent.

"Yeah." With that I closed the door on her, leaving her standing still in the hallway outside our apartment.

"Let her in, Kat. I want to talk to her. Please." I sighed, but reopened the door for her.

She flounced in to the room like she lived there, and I had never hated her more than I did in that moment. More than when she first announced that she and Peeta were a couple, and more than the first time that she had seen them kissing.

"I hope you realise what you did." I couldn't look at her for any longer, so I turned away and headed for my bedroom. This was between Peeta and Delly, not me. I locked the door and switched my iPod on, turning it up as loud as possible so that I couldn't here what was going on.

About an hour later I heard the door slamming, so turned off the music and unlocked my door. I walked into the living room to find Peeta staring blankly ahead, his eyes dead and puffy, his cheeks still stained with tears. He didn't even look at me when I sat next to him and began rubbing soothing circles on his back.

We sat like this, in complete silence, for almost an hour, and when he began to speak his voice startled me.

"What happened before.. Before Delly got here. That was.." He trailed off, and a small smile played on my lips. I was about to agree with him, when he spoke again.

"It was a mistake, Katniss. We've been friends for as long as I can remember, and I- We- We just shouldn't. I was just upset over Delly."

It felt like I had been stabbed in the chest. My heart rate sped up so much I thought I was about to pass out. I suddenly couldn't stand being near him. I jumped off the couch and pulled on my shoes and coat without a word, leaving and slamming the door behind me with all of the strength I could manage. The noise echoed in my ear, and I realised what I had done.

I had no money and no phone, and it was pouring rain outside. But I couldn't face the thought of going back in there, so I left the building and walked in the direction of Johanna's apartment block. Three miles was a long walk in weather like that, but after a while the cold rain numbed my skin through my saturated coat.

It took about an hour to reach Johanna's apartment, much longer than usual. I knocked, and she opened the door a second later, taking a moment to fully comprehend the state that I was in. Without so much as a question, she stood aside and gestured for me to come in.

"I'll let you go for now, but you've got a lot of explaining to do later, Brainless."

* * *

_A/N._

_I am so, so sorry for the wait on this one, but it has been an incredibly hectic few weeks and I genuinely have had no time to write. I only wrote this now because I was on tumblr (it isn't a HG based one, it's all for music) and I decided to take a look in the everlark tag and it got me inspired. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I hope to have the last one posted soon, although I have a veeery busy two months ahead of me. I'll try my best!_

_Reviews make me very happy x_


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